i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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