Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
