If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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