in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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