i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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