If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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