I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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