I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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