nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
