Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
