yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
