New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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