I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
