I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
