you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
