brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, beer. Big fan.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
