I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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