Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
