Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself

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  (907): I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself http://tfl.nu/s5eu
  Replies (11) Good night (3076) Bad night (602)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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  (513): Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner. (615): That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right http://tfl.nu/5ajr
  Replies (15) Good night (2440) Bad night (593)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat

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  (813): just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat http://tfl.nu/dslu
  Replies (36) Good night (687) Bad night (4769)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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  (860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot. http://tfl.nu/hpow
  Replies (87) Good night (1221) Bad night (6337)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  consequently i now know what mace tastes like

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  (402): consequently i now know what mace tastes like http://tfl.nu/a9b7
  Replies (11) Good night (1742) Bad night (5936)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

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  (859): I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding. http://tfl.nu/b0qx
  Replies (17) Good night (4226) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?

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  (703): Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning? http://tfl.nu/g5lh
  Replies (4) Good night (1855) Bad night (5153)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.

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  (561): If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls. http://tfl.nu/stc1
  Replies (8) Good night (3821) Bad night (1440)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.

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  (304): For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/eupz
  Replies (10) Good night (2347) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that

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  (920): She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that http://tfl.nu/8ytu
  Replies (13) Good night (1104) Bad night (4800)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

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  (918): We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it. http://tfl.nu/eha8
  Replies (6) Good night (2824) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS

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  (609): Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS http://tfl.nu/rllj
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.

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  (517): Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard. http://tfl.nu/ngp4
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.

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  (978): If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win. (508): And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them. http://tfl.nu/dotb
  Replies (5) Good night (564) Bad night (300)

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