Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.

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(816): View more from Missouri

We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

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(951): View more from California

Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?

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(256): View more from Alabama

Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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(641): View more from Iowa

If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)

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