is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food