it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.