Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.