so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
