Don't you send me to vm
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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