hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
