That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
