She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize