You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
