If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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