She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
