did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize