my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
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she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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