shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
