Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am one with the molecules
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
