she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
