i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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