Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize