We won't sleep together?
turn off your phone and go to bed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media