I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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