That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
