I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
