Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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