remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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