I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
