giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
