the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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