We're facebook friends in real life
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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