Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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