everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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