Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
