did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
