stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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