I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
