if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
