I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
