I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
