so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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