The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
