you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
