I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
