carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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