You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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