Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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