his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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