he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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