I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
