Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
